dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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