i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
