I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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