Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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