first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
