how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
