What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
