I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
we're so committed to being not committed
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
