I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
