My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
