38 yer olds are good kisserssss
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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