My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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