I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
