is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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