Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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