i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
