Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
