If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need a beard to bite.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
