Pants 0. Shit 1.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
