i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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