i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
