...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
