My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
