wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So much rum. So many feels.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
