I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
