I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
