Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
