you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My feet surprised me
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
