i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
