Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
