ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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