If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
