1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
