Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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