He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
