You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
