what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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