eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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