If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
