Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I had to cum in my sink.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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