Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
