i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
