ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
