haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
