____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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