just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
