so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize