he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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