And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
