Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
