So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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