so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
