piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just want to make out with him forever
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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